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Help Embarrasing? Partner has Sleep Apnea and has a CPAP, No Sex??
My partner is 32 and i'm 28....He has had Sleep Apnea for years but i finally managed after many sleepless nights to get him to go to docs and be referred for CPAP. He has severe Sleep Apnea. He has had the CPAP for 8 months now. Anyway my problem is before CPAP our sex life was virtually nil...maybe every 6-9 months if i was lucky. Now since CPAP he is a different man...more alert and just better all round except for the sex hasn't changed?? Does anyone know if this is related to Sleep Apnea or is it just me he doesn't fancy??? Tried talking to him about it but with no luck...only thing is he can't use the excuse he is too tired anymore as he did in the past!!! HELP?
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My partner is 32 and i'm 28....He has had Sleep Apnea for years but i finally managed after many sleepless nights to get him to go to docs and be referred for CPAP. He has severe Sleep Apnea. He has had the CPAP for 8 months now. Anyway my problem is before CPAP our sex life was virtually nil...maybe every 6-9 months if i was lucky. Now since CPAP he is a different man...more alert and just better all round except for the sex hasn't changed?? Does anyone know if this is related to Sleep Apnea or is it just me he doesn't fancy??? Tried talking to him about it but with no luck...only thing is he can't use the excuse he is too tired anymore as he did in the past!!! HELP?
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Hi EmmyLou, welcome to the forum.
What many sleep apneics find is that pre-CPAP, when their body is oxygen starved, they often experience sexual dysfunction. Once successfully treated, this often restores quite quickly (one member here referred to the experience as "morning wood for the first time in years").
So chances are, physically it's all fine. But no one here will say CPAP makes you feel aprticularly sexy so my guess it's a bit of a mental block.
You are not the first to raise this issue, see:
In particular, this doctor wrote about it here.
Keep talking, I'd say. He'll probably want it, just a scared bunny right now!The Solution
My answer (and I don't think this is all that revolutionary): schedule sex before bringing out the CPAP and stop looking for excuses!
Let's get real, I don't think it takes a CPAP machine to kill the moment. There are so many other issues we deal with that can make having a vibrant sex life equally as challenging. How about the hours we put in at work? The late-night TV watching and e-mailing? The kids' distractions? -
Thanks!!
Thankyou....Still a little confused but like you say if i keep trying to talk to him then maybe one day....Ha Ha!
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Emmy Lou, I hope that since you first posted your question things have changed.
I for one believe I know how your partner feels. I can't feel sexy with the mask etc on or set up all ready to go in plain view so I have mine ready on the floor by the bed out of sight.
I have agreed with the wife that when we go to bed I don't get masked up for at least 10 minutes during which time we chat and spend time together, be that having a cuddle or whatever. Then when the time is up or a natural hiatus occurs I put the mask on and get ready to sleep and she turns the light off. It makes me feel good because I know she will get a good night's sleep without my snoring and shaking the bed as I gasp for breath and we had some quality time without the rigours of the day to do whatever we wanted to.
Works for us and our love life is getting better
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