I’m a female snorer and it’s destroying my relationship

[Staciew1985]

Hi all ,

ive come on here because I don’t know where else to turn ! I snore really loudly I’m a size 14 and 5 ft 4 I could do with losing a bit of weight but I’m not crazily overweight n I’ve been to my doctors and seen an ENT and he said there’s nothing wrong that he can see I record myself snoring and it is loud lol me n my partner now sleep in separate rooms n we’re trying to make it work but it is hard I don’t know what else to do would a private ent have a diff outlook or would I be wasting my time . I have used mouth piece and it is quieter but still not quiet enough to sleep in same room literally don’t know what else I could try any tips or hints … please

[Reno]

I was a terrible snorer, but luckily for me my wife can sleep through an earthquake. In my case, the snoring was because of sleep apnoea.

For general snoring, the tips are usually to avoid alcohol and any sedative medications (like benzo’s or sleeping pills) as these usually make things worse. The NHS does also suggest asking your partner to where earplugs. The other suggestion is sewing a tennis ball to the back of your nightwear to force you to sleep on your sides.

Have you had a sleep study? I don’t know if ENTs diagnose sleep apnoea as I’ve only dealt with respiratory or anesthesiologist Doctors. ♂️

I would be cautious, as snoring could be a sign of sleep apnoea. Symptoms of sleep apnoea can be:

• feel very tired
• find it hard to concentrate
• have mood swings
• have a headache when you wake up

You should defo see your GP about getting a polysomnograph or home sleep test if you haven’t had one already:

• your breathing stops and starts while you sleep
• you make gasping, snorting or choking noises while you sleep
• you always feel very tired during the day

Some snorers who do not have sleep apnoea still use CPAP therapy as it can stop snoring. If you don’t have sleep apnoea, lifestyle changes aren’t working and your snoring is having a big impact on your or your partner's life, the NHS (assuming you’re in the UK) usually would help to find a suitable treatment.

- Reno

[Staciew1985]

Hiya thanks for the info , yes I’ve had a sleep test and no sleep apnea just a very loud snorer in my case ! I got referred to ent and he found nothing wrong so they have discharged me I’m at a loss with it he just said try and eat as much of a raw food diet as possible and weight loss etc and suggestion was only life style changes … I’m at a loss coz it’s ruining our relationship which is otherwise very happy . My partner has worn ear plugs for years and has now developed tinnitus so he won’t wear them anymore that’s how we have got to 5 years in on a relationship

[Reno]

Yea, I appreciate that is a tough spot.

Obviously loosing weight should help, but I hate telling people to do that as it’s a very long-term goal, and usually not an easy one, so it’s hardly a solution for now. I see you’ve tried the mouthpiece, and although it helps, it’s not enough. So the only thing I can think to try is:

Positional Sleep Therapy

Apparently 1 in 4 snorers are positional snorers. If you are positional, these should help, if not then they wont.

There are a few solutions under this category. The oldest being the tennis ball on the back of a t-shirt trick to stop you laying on your back, but for some people this can damage their sleep if it keeps waking them up.

Another is wedge pillows. For some, it encourages them to sleep on their side.

There are also devices that detect if you’re in the wrong position and encourage with back onto your side and anti-snore backpacks and vests.

Lifestyle changes excluding weight loss

Avoid CNS depressants like alcohol, sleeping tablets and other medications like benzodiazepines and barbiturates.

Other solutions

Mouthpieces

• Mandibular Advancement Device (probably the one you’ve already tried)
• Tongue stabilising devices

There are some DIY versions of these you can do it home, but it is better to have one provided and fitted by a medical professional.

CPAP Therapy

This is probably one of the most effective treatment for snorers, but is sometimes considered using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut because it is usually more expensive than the therapies mentioned above and because for most, CPAP can be difficult to get used to. There are a few people that do use it for non-medical reasons such as snoring like Nick over at CPAP Reviews who uses it as he likes to have a beer occasionally but doesn’t want his snoring to disturb his wife.

I do not know if the NHS will provide a machine to someone without something like sleep apnoea, though. You can always ask. I do recommend trying some of the other solutions first to see if it has a simple fix.

If you wanted to go down this route, you will need approval from a doctor to make sure you don’t have any underlying condition that would make CPAP unsuitable before you’d be allowed to by a machine.


I hope this was helpful, and gives you an idea of how to proceed.

- Reno